On an early spring afternoon, a mom and her four-year-old son are standing on a street corner with his scooter, waiting for the light to change.

MOM: Which way do you want to ride, straight up the hill or to the right?

As the light turns green, the son rides across the street and replies,

Son: I’ll let you know. I’ll let you know.

The mother gives her son a choice to decide which direction he wants to ride his scooter. However, the son gives his mother a THIRD choice. He decides to be spontaneous and chooses to ride in the moment, feeling with his body where to go. This four-year-old feels safe with his mother, which helps him to know he has a third option. She gives him space to decide for himself, to practice tapping into his feelings, and she does not demand an immediate answer. Mom remains open to an adventure that her four-year-old wanted to take her on.

On a personal note, giving my very active four-year-old son an open range was a little scary, especially on a city street. However, I remained extra vigilant and prepared to “save” him if I needed to. It took a lot more physical energy on my part, but I was committed to giving my son a sense of freedom and limitless boundaries.

As parents, we often want to protect our children and make all the decisions for them. However, allowing our children to make choices and take risks is essential for their growth and development. Giving them the space to explore their feelings and make choices fosters their independence, confidence, and decision-making skills. It also teaches them to trust their intuition and inner voice.

So, the next time you're out with your child, try giving them a choice and letting them decide where to go or what to do. You might be surprised at the creativity and confidence they exhibit. And remember, being there to support them and keep them safe is essential, but giving them the space to be spontaneous and make choices is equally important.